


Team RWBY Is Dead | Waspinator Is Dead

by DrGairyuki



Category: RWBY, Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers: Beast Wars
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Comedy, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Dark Comedy, Gallows Humor, Gen, Humor, Humorous Ending, Inappropriate Humor, Inspired by..., Literary References & Allusions, Murder Mystery, One Shot, Parody, Random & Short, Randomness, References to Canon, References to Shakespeare, WTF, Weird Plot Shit, Why Did I Write This?, YouTube
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:07:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23989357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrGairyuki/pseuds/DrGairyuki
Summary: Heavy Is Dead but with RWBY/Beast Wars characters
Comments: 2
Kudos: 4





	1. Team RWBY Is Dead

Team RWBY came and walked right out of the spawn room as Ruby and Yang were singing and humming to themselves before Ruby make a comment.

"It is good day to be not dead!" Ruby said.

"POW!" Cardin then shot Team RWBY in the head with a pistol with a telescope attach to it. "You are DEAD!"

"WE ARE DEAD!" Ruby shouted with Blake quickly reading a book called "HOW 2 DIE" before she threw it into the air as Team RWBY then suddenly made a few dramatic poses. And Team RWBY are now dead.

Cardin chuckle evilly to himself at this as Team RWBY's bodies lay dead on the ground. Before he then saw Team CVFY suddenly coming and was walking straight toward the scene of the murder while Coco was humming peacefully to herself.

"Oh shit!" Cardin said to himself as he quickly tossed away his weapon.

Team CVFY came to the scene and gasp in shock at Team RWBY laying dead on the ground and seeing Team RWBY dead on the ground.

"Team RWBY is DEAD!" Coco said as the scene then change to show Team RWBY's bodies laying upright and holding flowers in their hands while Cardin was just acting innocently and pretend not knowing what happened with the weapon couple of feets away from him.

"YES." (STRAWBERRY) Ruby said. Before the scene then change to now show 4 tombstones that reveal their full names to be "RUBY RED HOOD BEOWOLF VANESSA KIMBALL LINDSAY ELISE JONES TUGGEY BISON SAORI HIYAMI HENRY BEAUGRAND MACRAE RUTH ANN BALDWIN KEEJON WATUMA BRANWEN XIAO LONG ROSE", "WEISS GELÉ TWERG SPIEGEL ROT APFEL KARA EBERLE YŌKO HIKASA CASEY LEE WILLIAMS WALT DISNEY CARTHAY SCHNEE", "BLAKE ARRYN ZECH YŪ SHIMAMURA WHITE FANG PETRUS GONSALVUS CATHERINE GABRIELLE-SUZANNE BARBOT DE VILLENEUVE JEANNE-MARIE LEPRINCE DE BEAUMONT ANDREW LANG BELLADONNA", and "YANG GOLDILOCKS TRIURSAUS RIGOBERT BARBARA DUNKELMAN AMI KOSHIMIZU ROBERTSON SOUTHEY CHISTOPHER ROBIN WILLIAM SHAKESPHERE BRANWEN XIAO LONG" written on them and have various items around their tombstone that were relate to them respectively with their heads poking out of the ground in front of them. "We are dead!"

"WHY is Team RWBY dead?!" Coco questioned in shock with a pair of tanks wearing hats for some reason sitting on the roof in the background of the scene.

"I dunno." Cardin answered and shrugged his shoulders casually with the G-man from Half-life looking across at the scene from a window in the background of the scene... before Ruby then suddenly spoke.

"I think it was-"

"SHH!" Both Team CVFY and Cardin shushed Ruby. "You are dead!"

"Ok." Then Team RWBY went back to being dead.

That was when Sun (our favorite blonde punching bag second only to Jaune) appeared and came to the murder scene when he suddely drift in via his van and stop his van with a drift while a Beowolf, a Beringel, and a Leviathan that was small for its species were playing poker on top of a hill in the background of the scene before the blonde monkey faunus then got out and spoke... suddenly speaking with an Australian accent and wearing sunglasses for some reason.

"What's up, you wankers?!" Sun said, somehow gaining a Australian accent for unknown and no apparent reason that I will not explain, as he thust his pelvis forward. "Who's for a-" He then see what happened as the scene then change to now show Team RWBY's bodies were now laying on four medical beds respectively with Cardin and Team CVFY sitting in chairs beside the four beds with a crappy model of Thomas the Tank Engine on the rails behind them in the background, causing him exclaim in shock at what he saw. "AH! What the bloody hell just happened?!" The monkey faunus asked.

"Team RWBY is dead!" Both Cardin and Team CVFY answered.

The scene then change to now show to Sun's face zoomed up close and looking like those game quiz shows that display which one is the correct answers while Roman and Neo were stealing his van inside of two Paladin mechs that they stole to sell it in the background of the scene with his choices of answers being:

 **A: I think they are alive** **B: Apples/Bananas**

 **C: Team RWBY is Dead.** **D: The Earth is Flat**

Before Sun then choose the answer **C: Team RWBY is Dead.** "Team RWBY is dead?!"

"Correct!" Coco said with a grin on her face while a train was passing by in the background with cheerful victory music now playing.

Sun smiled in happiness while Roman and Neo have sold Sun's van and the two Paladin mechs and were walking back with a whole stack of whole lotta dough in their hands in the background of the scene.

The scene then change to now show Team RWBY's corpses were now suddenly standing on the top of their heads, sticking their arms outward, and surrounded by several orange cones while Cardin and Sun are looking at the corpses and looking like they were thinking in their thoughts with their hands under their chins as Coco asked them while leaning on a wooden chair with a wooden table beside her that have various items on it and a hanging lamp somehow suspended shining light below her. "SO, did you see the murderer?"

"No, sorry mate." Cardin and Sun answered at the same time.

Coco then instantly stood up as she got up from her wooden chair and slammed the palm of her right hand onto the table that made the items bounce when she make her speech.

"I will find him or her. I will capture him or her. And no one will ever die again!" Coco said with her speech and promise while a giant pineapple was on a roof of a building in the background. Cardin, the rest of CVFY, and Sun then start clapping for Coco for that speech as the scene then change to now show Team RWBY's corpses were now skeletons except for their heads and a couple of milk-looking cartons laying beside them while a Mutant Beowolf from RWBY: Grimm Eclipse sitting a few feets away was watching this with a cactus that have a random cowboy hat on the lower one of its two stem succulents for no apparent reason, a giant watermelon, Somba from Overwatch sitting on a blue barrel and watching this, and a crashed UFO in the background of that scene.

"Ah, well. Now that's nice." Sun comment.

"I am DAMN proud right now." Cardin comment.

Cardin, the rest of CVFY, and Sun then increase the speed of their clappings to Coco with the Mutant Beowolf joining and clapping its hands with them for making that speech.

"ATTEEEEEEEEEEEEETION!" Marrow (wearing a fake beard and a smoking pipe for some reason) then suddenly appeared out of no where with a bunch of Atlesian Knights lined up and a few random AA guns that are place on the roofs of a building behind him in the background. Before he then zoomed over as the scene then change to now show everyone now recreating the Death of Seneca painting by Manuel Domínguez Sánchez with Cardin and Sun being the two random dudes in the painting and doing an Jojo poses while wearing ancient greek-looking clothings of their respective colors, Team RWBY's dead bodies were now laying dead naked inside a bathtub, and Coco now sitting beside the said bathtub with Team RWBY's dead bodies and corpse inside with an ancient greek-looking pot sitting beside her and covering her face with her right hand while resting her other arm on the edge of the bathtub except for Marrow himself moving around like he was a ragdoll in Gmod before the dog faunus spoke while Ozpin was watching in sadness with his arms crossed together in the background of the scene. "Team RWBY is dead!"

"We know!" Coco said.

"Who killed them?!"

"We don't know."

"I will find clues!" Marrow then sniffing the ground for any signs of clues... until he found the pistol with the telescope being a few away. "What's that?" He then picked it up. "A WEAPON?!" He said with a group of RWBY Chibi character dancing in the glass in the background. Before he got up with the weapon in his hand as he told them as the scene then change to now show Coco holding both of her hands out, Cardin was holding his hands up, Sun holding his hands over his mouth, and Team RWBY were doing Dende's infamous crouch posture in a group of flowers and a couple of birds on them with a Nora piggyback riding a Ursa Major while holding a pizza box up in the air in her hand to make a delivery before the Ursa Major caryring Nora then run in order to delivered the pizza to their customer, a logo of pizza on one of the buildings, and a bunch of random trees now growing in the background of that scene. "That thing is why Team RWBY is DEAD!"

"Team RWBY is dead?!" Coco, Cardin, and Sun said in shock.

"YES." Marrow said before he slammed his hands down on the judge's table that made the gun bounce off of the table as he told them. "THEY DIED!"

Much to Coco, Cardin, and Sun'sshock and horror as they gasped and exclaimed in shock and horror at what they heard.

It was then reveal that Coco, Cardin, and Sun were actually standing in front of a green screen wall while the judge's table was actually just a crappy normal wooden table with a really equally crappy wooden hammer that Marrow was just standing behind as Team RWBY's dead bodies were now laying facedown on the ground with a train that is for some reason filled to the brim with bombs and explosives passing by in the background.

"INCOMING!"

Marrow then got run over by a random ambulance when the ambulance suddenly crashed and run over right into him, crashed along with him into the wall of a building, and died. Before (our favorite blonde punching bag especially to me) Jaune, doing his part-time job and looking like your stereotypical-looking nerdy doctor for some unknown reason that I will not explain to you at all, then suddenly open the back of the ambulance and jumped right out only for him to fall and smacked down right into the ground before he then slide over accompy by a sound effect that sound like rubbing glass is the closest thing if you ask me.

"MOVE, NOW!" Jaune shouted as he then pushed CVFY, Sun, and Cardin looking at Team RWBY's dead bodies out of the way from Team RWBY's corpse with the sun having the face of bearded guy for some reason in the background. Before he then kisses Team RWBY on their noses.

Team RWBY then begun floating up and starts ascending up to the sky while a bright light was shining down upon them from the heavens with Ruby and Yang laughing as they start go and ascend into the light from the heaven...

...Until only for Team RWBY to then suddenly exploded into gibs of bodyparts flying everywhere onto the ground.

"In my medicial opinion, that TEAM RWBY IS DEAD!" Jaune exclaim.

"Doc, what happened?" Sun ask in shock while Coco and Cardin were playing rock-paper-scissor with each other.

"My professional option?" Jaune said before he then dramatically told them as he beame stiff like a statue when he told them. "Team RWBY was killed!"

"Oh god." Sun said in horror while he, Team CVFY, and Cardin were looking in shock and horror by what they've heard with the entire RVB characters from Season 1 to 8 suddenly appearing and standing behind them. Before they turn around to face and spoke to them as they begun and start panicking.

"I don't think it's anything to worry about." Jaune comment casually to himself before he then bounce away.

"Well, now what?" Sun ask with Team CVFY now standing right behind his back while Cardin was laying down on a beach lawnchair underneath a palm tree that is appear out of no where. That is when they heard a familiar voice and turned their head to see a rather familiar cat faunus who is from Atlas was walking toward the scene of the murder while dancing at the same time with her roller skates and said "Clipidy clop motherf--ker" when she came. This cause Coco to just _groan_ in vexing annoyance and exasperation at this. "OH come _on_..."

That is when Neon came and skid over to the scene.

"Lookatthis! The Freaking Team RWBY is dead!" Neon said and pointed out the obvious as she pointed at Team RWBY with her finger while they were sitting up and looking at her deadpanned before she ask them. "What do you think of that?" There was no reactions and was only silence while everyone just stared at her as Team RWBY just simply shook their heads at Neon. "Ahmm..."

"Yes, yes, Neon." Coco said in annoyance and exasperation at Neon while the others were also looking at Neon in annoyance with grasses suddenly growing and a few wooden cutouts of cows on the roofs.

"Yeah?"

"GO HOME."

Neon then turned her head and saw her mom waiting for her in the car when she waved before the cat-tailed faunus spoke in disbelief. "AH COME ON!" Neon then just "pfft" while she give the double middle fingers at this as she walked over to her mom's car before she mutter in disbelief and insult them as she got in. "FreakingunbelieveableNoseriouslyYouallsuck." They then left in the car before they then crashed, Neon scream in pain, and died.

"Ok... let's get back to the point." Coco said as she then pick up and hold a sign that said "TO THE POINT" as Sun and VFY nodded their heads in agreement with her while the crashed wreckage of Neon's mom's car was burning behind them in the background.

Before Ruby's, Weiss's, Blake's, and Yang's unmoving corpses that are still laying facedown on the ground were then poke by... Ruby, Weiss, Blake, and Yang respectively, with sticks, before then Ruby give them their options on the matter. "We think Team RWBY is dead."

"TEAM RWBY IS DEAD?!?!" Everyone exclaimed in shock and horror as Coco then tossed the "TO THE POINT" sign into the air with a giant sign that said "PENIS" and a red tractor sticking to the wall sideways being in the background of the scene. Before Team RWBY went back thinking and to ponder in their thoughts of who killed Team RWBY as Jaune then gasped in shock and horror at seeing the burning and crashed wreckage of Neon's mom's car behind them.

"NEON! I will heal you!" Jaune said as he rushed over to the burning and crashed wreckage of Neon's mom's car before the car blow up and exploded, got caught in blast of the explosion, and died.

"OH, seriously?! WHO KILLED TEAM RWBY?!" Yang questioned.

Cue to the zoomed up scene of a licking mouth before a beer bottle was put into the mouth and took a quick drank from it with a loud slurring sound before it was reveal to be Mercury of what he originally look like back in RWBY Volume 1.

"It was ME!" Vol1!Mercury said, dressed up in a over-the-top manner like he was some sort of pimp with a nice purple hat, a lit ciger in his mouth, a pair of sunglasses, and a golden medal around his neck, dramatically after taking a quick drink from his beer with a whole lotta beer bottles in a large wooden crate and whole lotta more of them littering across on all the roofs of the buildings behind him in the background of that scene.

Causing Team RWBY, Team CVFY, Sun, and Cardin to then gasped in shock when they turn their heads at what they've heard.

"YES!" Vol1!Mercury said and "confess" as the scene then change to now show severel utterly massive beer bottles with one of them dumping their content into a different wooden crate while it was mostly on its sides, Chell from the Portal series sitting in front of a door from said series with a beer bottle on top of it, a robotic arm holding a beer bottle in its hand, and a yellow four-legged mecha robot with two arms from the original Half-Life game, in the background of that scene before a beer bottle then suddely slide up on his body and into his mouth as he then swallowed it with a gulp. "I did it like this: BOOM!" Vol1!Mercury pulled out his revolver and shoots it, killing Sun in one shot all while a train of tanks were rolling and passing by down the tracks in the background of that scene. "WOOP DEE DOO!" Vol1!Mercury said as the yellow four-legged mecha robot then pushed one of giant beer bottle away, the robotic arm took and lifted Chell up by her head, and the door from Portal now open to reveal to have a tons of cubes from that series.

Team RWBY, Team CVFY, and Cardin were shocked and speechless at what just happened as Cardin just shook his hand in shock at this while Yatsudashi hold Sun's dead still bleeding body by his head in his hands.

Vol1!Mercury then took another massive swing from his beer bottle with an burp and slurping sounds before he then told them.

"That's a joke, labs." Vol1!Mercury pointed out.

Team RWBY, Team CVFY, and Cardin then begun laughing at that joke.

Vol1!Mercury then took another massive drink from his beer bottle before he let out a loud blench from his before the scene then change to now show the area was suddenly now forested by several trees and brushes with two gravestones in front of the dead bodies for Sun on right and Team RWBY on the left along with several numbers of items associating with them like either their weapons or foods while Cardin and Team CVFY stood still and look at him.

"It was... yo-" Vol1!Mercury pointed at Team CVFY and was about to say until he burped and forgot of what he was about to say before he then pointed at Cardin. "HIM!"

Cardin and Team CVFY then gasped in shock at what they heard, with Team CVFY gasp in shock at Cardin being the murderer while Cardin gasp in shock at being somehow found out to be the murderer, as Vol1!Mercury another swing of his beer before Cardin spoke.

"How did you _know_?" Cardin asked.

"I didn't." Vol1!Mercury answered as the scene then change to now show there were now a few structure made of giant beer bottles before he let out a loud blenching burp and told him. "That was a joke too." Before he then rapidly his beer out of the battle.

Cardin smiled evilly and attempt to hold in his evil laughter as Vol1!Mercury then dead and drop dead to the ground from alcohol poisoning while also saying "i'm ded", causing Team RWBY to sat up, before he finally let out his evil laughter and immediately confessed.

"That's right!" Cardin said as the scene then change to now show Team RWBY were now sat up in front of their gravestone and looking around in confusion with several numbers of various items associating with them sill there, surrounded by several kinds of flowers around their said gravestone, and a few random guys grieving for them while Sun's corpse became a skeleton in the background of the scene as Team CVFY just look at him with blank expressions on all of their faces before he then pointed his thumb at himself as he told them in a DIO-like voice. "It was me!"

"You MONSTER!" Coco said to Cardin who have a smug grin on his face as the scene then change to now show the area behind Cardin suddenly became what look is trying to be a swamp but is failing that include a girl sitting inside of a tire swing hold by a rope attach to a tree, a muscle dude sitting on a dock, and an airboat docked at said dock with a crocodile slithering across the ground like it was swimming in the water in the while Sun's dead body was still a skeleton and Vol1!Mercury's dead body had been replaced by a beer bottle with his hat on it.

"BUT WHYYYYY?" Ruby questioned. As the scene then change to now show Ren painting Nora in a Jojo pose with barbed wire around them in the background of the scene.

"Coz you're FAT, girls." Cardin answered with the croc biting down on the dude's head. Before he then added. "And another thing, you're ugly.-"

Both Team RWBY (mostly Ruby) and Cardin then argue with each other and throwing insults at each other as Team CVFY looking back and forth in confusion between them in their bickering at each other with blank expressions like it was a ping-pong ball match.

"CARDIN, STOP!-"

"-You're a whole alot ugly.-"

"-CARDIN YOU ARE SO MEAN!-"

"-You're dumb as a box. And I've seen better-"

"-It's not funny!-"

Coco and Team CVFY then just look blankly at us audience and shrug their shoulders, since it was pretty much tradition that Team RWBY (mostly Ruby) and Cardin argue and bicker with each other at this point.

"CARDIN!" Team RWBY shouted to the sky when their heads have then suddenly blew right up to enormous sizes.

"AH! DAMNIT! TEAM RWBY FUCK OFF!" Cardin said to them after he was startled as he flipped them before the scene then change to now show the area then look like a bar put his down arms on a bar table like it was an actual bar and clutch his head in his hands with Qrow and Clover sitting at another bar table in background of the scene as he then told them. "You are die."

"NO! U!" Team RWBY then pulled a uno reverse/russian reversal by pulling out their weapons and shot him, killing Cardin. "POW haha! You are DEAD, Not big surprise."

"Well that was idiotic." Coco said in exasperation once the whole incident is resolve by its idoicy as Team CVFY walked away in disbelief. "Off to hang ourselves." The scene then change to now show that Team CVFY had decide to hang themselves while the noose of the rope is around their necks and the chairs in front of them... before Coco decide to go fashionable and spectacularly out with style by doing an awesome backflip off of the wooden chair. "Watch and learn-" And then Team CVFY died as their corpse then knock the chairs over.

"We are alive!" Ruby said cheerfully with a cheerful smile on her face. "Its nice." Team RWBY were surrounded by the corpses and dead bodies around them. "... Yes, this is stupid."


	2. Waspinator Is Dead

*Waspinator walking out of the spawn room while singing about

Waspinator: Waszzpinator think it iszz good day to be not dead!

Quickstrike: POW! *get shot by Quickstrike with a pistol with a telescope on top* You are DEAD!

Waspinator: *threw a book called "HOW 2 DIE" into the air* WASZZPINATOR ISZZ DEAD!

*And Waspinator is now dead*

*Quickstrike chuckle evilly to himself as Waspinator lay dead*

*Quickstrike notice and see Dinobot walking over to the scene*

Quickstrike: Oh shit! *tossed away his weapon*

*Dinobot came to the scene and grasp in shock at seeing Waspinator dead on the ground*

Dinobot: Waspinator is DEAD! *Quickstrike pretend acting innocently*

*Waspinator's body laying upright with flowers in his hands*

Waspinator: YESZZ (NECTOR) *Shows his tombstone that reveal his full name to be "WASPINATOR JETFIRE STONGARM OMEGA SUPREME BACKSTOP SNARL DUO MAXWELL GUNDAM DEATHSCYTHE PARACELSUS PHILPPUS AUREOLUS THEROPHRASTUS BOMBASTUS VON HOHENHEIM HARLOCK KOGA SHIKI KUNO REYNARD VARETH STIGMA STOELLER POLTA" on it* Waszzpinator iszz dead!

Dinobot: WHY is Waspinator dead?! *scene shows an pair of tanks wearing nice hats sitting on the roof for some reason in the background*

Quickstrike: I dunno. *shrugged his shoulders with the G-man from Half-life looking from a window in the background like he always does*

*Waspinator suddenly spoke*

Waspinator: Waszzpinator think it wasz-

Dinobot & Quickstrike: SHH! *Both Dinobot and Quickstrike shush Waspinator* You are dead!

Waspinator: Okay! *Waspinator then went back to being dead*

*A purple Silverbolt with an Australian accent and sunglasses suddenly appeared and came to the scene when he drift in via his van and came right out with Torca, Injector, and Sky Shadow playing poker on top of a hill in the background*

P!Silverbolt: What's up, you wankers?! *thrusted his pelvis forwars* Who's up for a- *see Waspinator's body laying on a medicial bed while Dinobot and Quickstrike were sitting in two chairs beside the bed with a crappy model of Thomas the Tank Engine on the rails behind them in the background* AH! What the bloody just happened?!  
Dinobot & Quickstrike: Waspinator is dead!

*P!Silverbolt's face is zoomed up close and look those quiz shows that display which one is the correct answers with Swindle and Misfire stealing his van to sell in the background and not somehow noticing it*

*His choice were...*

A: I think they are alive

B: Apples

C: Waspinator is Dead

D: The Earth is Flat

*P!Silverbolt choose the answer **C: Waspinator is Dead** *

P!Silverbolt: Waspinator is dead?!

Dinobot: Correct! * A random train passing by in the background while cheerful victory music was now playing*

P!Silverbolt: *smiled at his win and victory of choosing the right answer with Swindle and Misfire walking back with a stack of whole lotta dough in their hands from selling his van in the background*

*Waspinator's corpse was now suddenly standing on the top of his head, sticking his arms outward, and surrounded by several orange cones with P!Silverbolt and Quickstrike looking at his corpse and looking like they're thinking with their hands under their chins*

Dinobot: *now leaning in a wooden chair with am wooden table beside him that have various items on it and a hanging lamp somehow suspended shining light below him* SO, did you see the murderer?

P!Silverbolt & Quickstrike: No, sorry mate.

Dinobot: *stood up from the wooden chair and and slammed the palm of his right hand onto the table that made the items bounce* I will find him. I will capture him. And no one will ever die again! *a giant pineapple was on a roof of a building in the background*

*P!Silverbolt and Quickstrike start clapping for Dinobot for that speech while Waspinator's corpse was now a skeleton except for his head and a milk-looking carton laying beside him with Grimlock sitting a few feets away watching this, a cactus with a random cowboy hat on the lower one of its two stem succulents for no apparent reason, a giant watermelon, Somba from Overwatch sitting on a blue barrel and watching this, and a crashed random UFO in the background*

P!Silverbolt: Ah, well. Now that's nice.

Quickstrike: I am DAMN proud right now.

*P!Silverbolt and Quickstrike's clapping intensified with Grimlock joining in*

*Wolfang then suddenly appeared out of no where while wearing a fake beard and a smoking pipe for some reason with a bunch of Centurion droids lined up while a few random AA guns and giant crates are place on the roofs of a building behind him in the background*

Wolfang: ATTEEEEEEEEEEEEETION! *then zoomed over*

*Everyone was now recreating the Death of Seneca painting by Manuel Domínguez Sánchez except for Wolfang with Quickstrike and P!Silverbolt being the two random dudes in the painting that are doing some sort of Jojo poses while wearing ancient greek-looking clothings of their respective colors, Waspinator's dead body having the role of being Seneca's dead body laying dead naked inside a bathtub, and Dinobot being the guy sitting beside the said bathtub with Waspinator's own dead body and corpse inside of it with an ancient greek-looking pot sitting beside his and covering his face with his right hand while resting his other arm on the edge of the bathtub as Optimus Primal was watching in sadness with his arms crossed together and standing by a greek-looking pillar in the background*

Wolfang: *moving around like he was a ragdoll in G-Mod* Waspinator is dead!

Dinobot: We know!

Wolfang: Who killed him?!

Dinobot: *shaking his fist to the heaven* We don't know.

Wolfang: I will find clues! *start sniffing the ground for any signs of clues before he found the pistol with the telescope gone* What's that? *pick it up* A WEAPON?! *A bunch of random Kre-O Transformers dancing in the background*

*Wolfang got up as Dinobot was holding his hands out, Quickstrike was holding his hands up, P!Silverbolt was holding his hands over his mouth, and Waspinator was doing Dende's infamous crouch posture in a group of flowers and a couple of birds on him with a Truth One piggyback riding Survive while holding a pizza box up in the air in her hand to make a delivery before Survive then run in order to delivered the pizza to their customer, a logo of pizza on one of the buildings, and a bunch of random trees that were now growing in the background*

Wolfang: That thing is why Waspinator is DEAD!

Dinobot, Quickstrike, & P!Silverbolt: Waspinator is dead?!

Wolfang: YES. *slammed his hands down on the judge's table that made the gun bounced off of the table* HE DIED!

*Dinobot, Quickstrike, and P!Silverbolt gasped and exclaimed in complete shock and horror at what they heard*

*Only to reveal that Dinobot, Quickstrike, and P!Silverbolt were actually standing in front of a green screen wall while the judge's table was actually just a plain old crappy normal wooden table with a really equally crappy wooden hammer that Wolfang was just standing behind as Waspinator's dead body was now laying facedown on the ground with a train that is for some unknown reason filled to the brim with bombs and explosives passing by in the background*

Rhinox: *far away* INCOMING!

*Wolfang got run over by a random ambulance that crashed along with him into the wall of a building, and died*

Rhinox: Raus, raus! *suddenly opened the back door of the ambulance and jumped out only to fall and smacked right down into the ground before sliding over accompy by a sound effect like rubbing glass* MOVE, NOW! *pushed both Dinobot, P!Silverbolt, and Quickstrike looking at Waspinator's dead body out of his way from Waspinator's corpse with the sun having the face of bearded guy in the background* *Then kiss Waspinator on the forehead*

*Waspinator begun floating up to the sky while a bright light was shining down upon him from it with laughing and starts ascending up to heaven... Until only for Waspinator to then suddenly exploded into gibs of fling bodyparts flying everywhere onto the ground*

Rhinox: In my medicial opinion, that WASPINATOR IS DEAD!

P!Silverbolt: Doc, what happened? *Dinobot and Quickstrike were currently playing rock-paper-scissor*

Rhinox: My professional option? *then dramatically told them as he became stiff like a statue when he turned* Waspinator was killed!

P!Silverbolt: Oh Primus! *Dinobot, P!Silverbolt, and Quickstrike then turned around to face and speak to the entire cast of Reboot and begun panicking*

Rhinox: I don't think it's anything to worry about. *then bounce away*

P!Silverbolt: *in beast mode for some reason* Well, now what? *Dinobot riding on his back while Quickstrike was laying on a beach lawnchair underneath a palm tree that appear out of no where*

*That was when they a heard a familiar voice before they see Raksha with her minions of evil Martin and Roland appearing and coming while walking and dancing toward the scene of the crime*

Raksha: Clipidy clop motherf--ker!

Dinobot: *groaning in vexing annoyance* OH come _on_...

Raksha: *She and her minions of evil then skided over and pointed down all of their fingers at Waspinator* Lookatthis! Freaking Waspinator is dead! *looks arounds to get a reaction from this as Waspinator was now currently sitting upright with both Hot Rod, Hot Shot, Kicker, and Jointon Tripledacus watching this in the background and all five of them just look at Raksha and her two minions of evil Martin and Roland with equal unimpressed looks and deadpan expressions on all across their faces toward them* What do you think of that? *Gets utterly zero reactions and only got the silence from them as Waspinator, Hot Rod, Hot Shot, Kicker, and Jointon Tripledacus just simply shook their heads* Ahmm...

Dinobot: *green grasses suddenly growing with a few wooden cutouts of cows on the roofs of buildings in the background* Yes, yes, Raksha?

Raksha: Yeah?

Dinobot: GO HOME.

Raksha: *turned to see MP-45 Cybertron Espionage Bumble (Ver. 2.0) was waiting for her and her two minions of evil in vehicle form while Waspinator's body was now laying back on the ground and his arms were now crossed together* AH COME ON! *she give the double birds fingers at this as she and her minions of evil walked toward MP-45 Bumblebee* Pffffft! *she and her minions of evil then got in* FreakingunbelieveableNoseriouslyYouallsuck *MP-45 Bumblebee then drove away in vehicle form before they crashed, scream in pain, and died*

Dinobot: Ok... *the crashed wreckage of MP-45 Bumblebee's vehicle form was now burning behind them underneath a sign that said "PENIS" in the background* Let's get back to the point. *pick and hold up a sign that said "TO THE POINT" with P!Silverbolt quickly nodding and shaking his head up and down in agreement*

*Waspinator's unmoving corpse that was now laying facedown on the ground was then poke by... Waspinator with a stick in his hand while sitting in a chair*

Waspinator: Waszzpinator think Waszzpinator iszz dead.

Everyone: *Dinobot tossing the sign into the air with a random red tractor sticking to the wall sideways in the background * WASPINATOR IS DEAD?!?!

*Waspinator went back to thinking as Rhinox gasped in shocked horror at seeing the crashed and burning wreckage of MP-45 Bumblebee's vehicle form when he turned around*

Rhinox: BUMBLEBEE! I will heal you! *ran over toward the crashed and burning wreckage of MP-45 Bumblebee's vehicle form before it then blow up and exploded, got caught in blast of the explosion, and died*

Waspinator: OH, szeriouszzly?! *then point accusely at them* WHO KILLED WASZZPINATOR?!

*the zoomed up scene of a licking mouth before a beer bottle was put into the mouth and took a quick drank from it with a loud slurring sound... before it was reveal to be Rartorata (or Latolata or whatever the fuck what his name is exactly) with a nice purple hat, a lit ciger in his mouth, a pair of sunglasses, and a golden medal around his neck*

Rartorata: It was ME! *a whole lotta beer bottles in a large wooden crate and whole lotta more of them littering across on all the roofs of the buildings behind him in the background*

*Everyone turned and gasps in shock*

*Severel utterly massive beer bottles with one of them dumping their content right into a different wooden crate while it was mostly on its sides, Chell from the Portal series sitting in front of a door from said series with a beer bottle on top of it, a robotic arm holding a beer bottle in its hand and a yellow four-legged mecha robot with two arms from the original Half-Life game suddenly appeared in the background*

Rartorata: YES *a beer bottle then suddely slide up on his body and into his mouth as he then swallowed it with a gulp* I did it like this: *pulled out and cock his revolver* BOOM! *shoots it and killed P!Silverbolt in one shot all with a train of tanks were rolling and passing by down the tracks in the background* WOOP DEE DOO! *dance with the yellow four-legged mecha robot then pushing one of giant beer bottle away, the robotic arm taking and lifting Chell up by her head, and the door from Portal now open to reveal to have a tons of cubes from that series in the background*

*Everyone stared in shock as Dinobot hold P!Silverbolt in his hand while both Quickstrike's snakehead and left hand were shaking *

*Rartorata took another massive swing from his beer bottle with an burp and slurping sounds before he then told them*

Rartorata: That's a joke, lad.

*Dinobot, Quickstrike, & Waspinator begun laughing*

*Rartorata then took another massive drink from his beer bottle before he let out a loud blench*

*Quickstrike and Dinobot were now looking at Rartorata with the area suddenly now forested by several trees and brushes with 2 gravestones in front of the dead bodies for P!Silverbolt on right and Waspinator on the left along that have several numbers of items associating with them like either their weapons or foods*

Rartorata: It was... yo- *pointed at Dinobot and was about to say before he burped and forgot of what he was about to say* HIM! *pointed at Quickstrike*

*Quickstrike and Dinobot gasp in shock*

Quickstrike: How did you know?

Rartorata: I didn't. *a few structure made of giant beer bottles behind him in the background before letting out a loud blenching burp* That was a joke too. *He then rapidly his beer out of the battle*

Quickstrike: *his faceplate give the impression of a evil smile and started to chuckle evilly as Rartorata then died and drop dead to the ground from alcohol poisoning with also saying "i'm ded", causing Waspinator to sit up, before it goes into/he finally let out his evil laughter and immediately confessed* That's right! *Dinobot staring at him blankly with a blank expression and Waspinator was now sitting upright in front of his own gravestone and looking around in confusion with several numbers of various items associating with him sill there, surrounded by several kinds of flowers around his said gravestone, and a couple of random protohuman grieving for him while P!Silverbolt's corpse became a skeleton in the background before he pointed to himself* It was me!

Dinobot: You MONSTER! *Quickstrike having a smug grin with the area behind him suddenly became what look like is trying to be a swamp but is failing that include a girl sitting inside of a tire swing hold by a rope attach to a tree, a muscle dude sitting on a dock, and an airboat docked at said dock with a crocodile slithering across the ground like it was swimming in the water in the while P!Silverbolt's dead body was still a skeleton and Rartorata's dead body had been replaced by a beer bottle with his hat on it*

Waspinator: BUT WHYYYYY? *Tigatron was painting Airazor in a Jojo pose with barbed wires around them in the background*

Quickstrike: Coz you're FAT, boy! *BW!Soundwave currently biting down on a dude's head in the background* And another thing, you're ugly.-

*Waspinator and Quickstrike starts arguing and throwing insults at each other as Dinobot look back and forth in his confusion between them in their bickering at each other with a blank expression like it was a ping-pong ball match*

Waspinator: TWO-HEADS, SZZTOP!-

Quickstrike: -You're a whole alot ugly.-

Waspinator: -TWO-HEADSZZ YOU ARE SZZO MEAN!-"

Quickstrike: -You're dumb as a box. And I've seen better-

Waspinator: -It'szz not funny!-

*Dinobot then just look blankly at us audience and shrug his shoulders, since it was pretty much Predacon tradition*

Waspinator: *shouted to the sky as his head then suddenly blew right up to enormous size* QUICKSTRIKE!

Quickstrike: AH! DAMNIT! *flip at Waspinator* WASPINATOR FUCK OFF! *the area then now look like a bar when he put his down arms on a bar table like it was an actual bar and clutch his own head in his "hands" with Big Convey and Magnatron sitting at another bar table in background* You are dead.

Waspinator: NO! U! *use a uno reverse/russian reversal to pull out his gun before he shoot him and immeadiately killed Quickstrike in one shot with his gun* POW haha! You are DEAD, Not big szzurprise.

Dinobot: *exasperated once the whole incident is resolve by its idoicy* Well that was idiotic. *walked away in disbelief* Off to hang myself! *decide to hang himself while the noose of the rope is around his neck and the chair in front of him... before Dinobot decide to go out spectacularly with style and honor like a warrior he was by doing an awesome backflip off of the wooden chair* Watch and learn- *then died as his corpse then knock the chair over*

Waspinator: Waszzpinator iszz alive! *cheerful with a smile* It's nice. *surrounded by the corpses and dead bodies around them* ... Yes, this is stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay, but why did I do this? Because I Waspinator would fit Heavy's role quite while I was doing Team RWBY is dead


	3. Team RWBY Is Dead - Script Version

*Team RWBY walking out of the spawn room while singing about

Ruby: It is good day to be not dead!

Cardin: POW! *get shot by Cardin with a pistol with a telescope on top* You are DEAD!

Ruby: *Blake threw a book called "HOW 2 DIE" into the air* WE ARE DEAD!

*And Team RWBY are now dead*

*Cardin chuckle evilly to himself as Team RWBY lay dead*

*Cardin notice and see Team CVFY walking over to the scene*

Cardin: Oh shit! *tossed away his weapon*

*Team CVFY came to the scene and grasp in shock at seeing Team RWBY dead on the ground*

Coco: Team RWBY is DEAD! *Cardin pretend acting innocently*

*Team RWBY's bodies laying upright with flowers in their hands*

Ruby: YES. (STRAWBERRY) *Shows their tombstones that reveal their full names to be "RUBY RED HOOD BEOWOLF VANESSA KIMBALL LINDSAY ELISE JONES TUGGEY BISON SAORI HIYAMI HENRY BEAUGRAND MACRAE RUTH ANN BALDWIN KEEJON WATUMA BRANWEN XIAO LONG ROSE", "WEISS GELÉ TWERG SPIEGEL ROT APFEL KARA EBERLE YŌKO HIKASA CASEY LEE WILLIAMS WALT DISNEY CARTHAY SCHNEE", "BLAKE ARRYN ZECH YŪ SHIMAMURA WHITE FANG PETRUS GONSALVUS CATHERINE GABRIELLE-SUZANNE BARBOT DE VILLENEUVE JEANNE-MARIE LEPRINCE DE BEAUMONT ANDREW LANG BELLADONNA", and "YANG GOLDILOCKS TRIURSAUS RIGOBERT BARBARA DUNKELMAN AMI KOSHIMIZU ROBERTSON SOUTHEY CHISTOPHER ROBIN WILLIAM SHAKESPHERE BRANWEN XIAO LONG" on them* We are dead!

Coco: WHY is Team RWBY dead?! *scene shows an pair of tanks wearing nice hats sitting on the roof for some reason in the background*

Cardin: I dunno. *shrugged his shoulders with the G-man from Half-life looking from a window in the background like he always does*

*Waspinator suddenly spoke*

Ruby: I think it was-

Team CVFY & Cardin: SHH! *Both Team CVFY and Cardin shush Ruby* You are dead!

Ruby: Okay! *Team RWBY then went back to being dead*

*Sun now with an Australian accent and sunglasses suddenly appeared and came to the scene when he drift in via his van and came right out with a Beowolf, a Beringel, and a Leviathan that was small for its species playing poker on top of a hill in the background*

Sun: What's up, you wankers?! *thrusted his pelvis forward* Who's up for a- *see Team RWBY's bodies laying on a medical bed while Cardin and Team CVFY were sitting in two chairs beside the bed with a crappy model of Thomas the Tank Engine on the rails behind them in the background* AH! What the bloody just happened?!

Cardin & Team CVFY: Team RWBY is dead!

*Sun's face is zoomed up close and look those quiz shows that display which one is the correct answers with Roman and Neo stealing his van inside of two Paladin mechs that they stole to sell them in the background and not somehow noticing it*

*His choice were...*

A: I think they are alive

B: Apples

C: Team RWBY is Dead

D: The Earth is Flat

*Sun choose the answer **C: Team RWBY is Dead** *

Sun: Team RWBY is dead?!

Coco: Correct! * A random train passing by in the background while cheerful victory music was now playing*

Sun: *smiled at his win and victory of choosing the right answer with Roman and Neo walking back after they have sold Sun's van and the two Paladin mechs with a stack of whole lotta dough in their hands in the background*

*Team RWBY's corpses was now suddenly standing on the top of their head, sticking their arms outward, and surrounded by several orange cones with Sun and Cardin looking at his corpse and looking like they're thinking with their hands under their chins*

Coco: *now leaning in a wooden chair with am wooden table beside her that have various items on it and a hanging lamp somehow suspended shining light below her* SO, did you see the murderer?

Sun & Cardin: No, sorry mate.

Coco: *stood up from the wooden chair and slammed the palm of her right hand onto the table that made the items bounce* I will find him. I will capture him. And no one will ever die again! *a giant pineapple was on a roof of a building in the background*

*Cardin, the rest of CVFY, and Sun start clapping for Coco for that speech while Team RWBY's corpses were now skeletons except for their heads and a milk-looking carton laying beside him with a Mutant Beowolf from RWBY: Grimm Eclipse sitting a few feets away watching this, a cactus with a random cowboy hat on the lower one of its two stem succulents for no apparent reason, a giant watermelon, Somba from Overwatch sitting on a blue barrel and watching this, and a crashed random UFO in the background*

Sun: Ah, well. Now that's nice.

Cardin: I am DAMN proud right now.

*Cardin, the rest of CVFY, and Sun's clapping intensified with Grimlock joining in*

*Marrow then suddenly appeared out of no where while wearing a fake beard and a smoking pipe for some reason with a bunch of Atlesian Knight lined up while a few random AA guns and giant crates are place on the roofs of a building behind him in the background*

Marrow: ATTEEEEEEEEEEEEETION! *then zoomed over*

*Everyone was now recreating the Death of Seneca painting by Manuel Domínguez Sánchez except for Marrow with Cardin and Sun being the two random dudes in the painting that are doing some sort of Jojo poses while wearing ancient greek-looking clothings of their respective colors, Team RWBY's dead bodies having the role of being Seneca's dead body laying dead naked inside a bathtub, and Coco being the guy sitting beside the said bathtub with Team RWBY's own dead bodies and corpses inside of it with an ancient greek-looking pot sitting beside his and covering his face with his right hand while resting his other arm on the edge of the bathtub as Ozpin was watching in sadness with his arms crossed together and standing by a greek-looking pillar in the background*

Marrow: *moving around like he was a ragdoll in G-Mod* Team RWBY is dead!

Coco: We know!

Marrow: Who killed him?!

Coco: *shaking his fist to the heaven* We don't know.

Marrow: I will find clues! *start sniffing the ground for any signs of clues before he found the pistol with the telescope gone* What's that? *pick it up* A WEAPON?! *A group of RWBY Chibi characters dancing in the background*

*Marrow got up as Coco was holding his hands out, Cardin was holding his hands up, Sun was holding his hands over his mouth, and Team RWBY were doing Dende's infamous crouch posture in a group of flowers and a couple of birds on them with a Nora piggyback riding a Ursa Major while holding a pizza box up in the air in her hand to make a delivery before the Ursa Major carrying Nora then run in order to delivered the pizza to their customer, a logo of pizza on one of the buildings, and a bunch of random trees that were now growing in the background*

Marrow: That thing is why Team RWBY is DEAD!

Coco, Cardin, & Sun: Team RWBY is dead?!

Marrow: YES. *slammed his hands down on the judge's table that made the gun bounced off of the table* THEY DIED!

*Coco, Cardin, and Sun gasped and exclaimed in complete shock and horror at what they heard*

*Only to reveal that Coco, Cardin, and Sun were actually standing in front of a green screen wall while the judge's table was actually just a plain old crappy normal wooden table with a really equally crappy wooden hammer that Marrow was just standing behind as Team RWBY's dead bodies were now laying facedown on the ground with a train that is for some unknown reason filled to the brim with bombs and explosives passing by in the background*

Jaune: *far away* INCOMING!

*Marrow got run over by a random ambulance that crashed along with him into the wall of a building, and died*

Jaune: Raus, raus! *our favorite blonde punching bag especially to me suddenly opened the back door of the ambulance and jumped out only to fall and smacked right down into the ground before sliding over accompany by a sound effect like rubbing glass* MOVE, NOW! *pushed both Team CVFY, Sun, and Cardin looking at Team RWBY's dead bodies out of the way from Team RWBY's corpses with the sun having the face of bearded guy in the background* *Then kiss Team RWBY on their forehead*

*Team RWBY begun floating up to the sky while a bright light was shining down upon them from it with Ruby and Yang laughing in good feelings and they starts ascending up to heaven... Until only for Team RWBY to then suddenly exploded into gibs of fling bodyparts flying everywhere onto the ground*

Jaune: In my medical opinion, that TEAM RWBY IS DEAD!

Sun: Doc, what happened? *Coco and Cardin were currently playing rock-paper-scissor*

Jaune: My professional option? *then dramatically told them as he became stiff like a statue when he turned* Team RWBY was killed!

Sun: Oh god! *Team CVFY, Sun, and Cardin then turned around to face and speak to the entire RVB characters cast from Season 1 to 8 and begun panicking*

Jaune: I don't think it's anything to worry about. *then bounce away*

Sun: Well, now what? *Coco riding on his back with the rest of Team CVFY now standing right behind their back while Cardin was laying on a beach lawnchair underneath a palm tree that appear out of no where*

*That was when they a heard a familiar voice before they see Neon appearing and coming while walking and dancing toward the scene of the crime*

Neon: Clipidy clop motherf--ker!

Coco: *groaning in vexing annoyance* OH come _on_...

Raksha: *She then skided over and pointed down her finger at Team RWBY* Lookatthis! The Freaking Team RWBY is dead! *looks arounds to get a reaction from this as Team RWBY were now currently sitting upright watching this in the background and just look at Neon with equal unimpressed looks and deadpan expressions on all across their faces toward them* What do you think of that? *Gets utterly zero reactions and only got the silence from them as Team RWBY just simply shook their heads* Ahmm...

Coco: *green grasses suddenly growing with a few wooden cutouts of cows on the roofs of buildings in the background* Yes, yes, Neon?

Neon: Yeah?

Coco: GO HOME.

Neon: *turned to see her mom was waiting for her in the car when she waved at her while Team RWBY's bodies were now laying back on the ground and their arms were now crossed together* AH COME ON! *she give the double birds fingers at this as she walked toward to her mom's car* Pffffft! *she then got into her mom's car* FreakingunbelieveableNoseriouslyYouallsuck *They then drove away and left before they then crashed, Neon scream in pain, and died*

Coco: Ok... *the crashed wreckage of Neon's mom's car was now burning behind them underneath a sign that said "PENIS" in the background* Let's get back to the point. *pick and hold up a sign that said "TO THE POINT" with Sun and VFY quickly nodding and shaking their head up and down in agreement*

*Ruby's, Weiss's, Blake's, and Yang's unmoving corpses that were now laying facedown on the ground was then poke by... Ruby, Weiss, Blake, and Yang respectively with sticks in their hand while sitting in a bunch of chairs*

Ruby: We think Team RWBY is dead.

Everyone: *Coco tossing the sign into the air with a random red tractor sticking to the wall sideways in the background* TEAM RWBY IS DEAD?!?!

*TEAM RWBY went back to thinking as Jaune gasped in shocked horror at seeing the crashed and burning wreckage of Neon's mom's car when he turned around*

Jaune: NEON! I will heal you! *ran over toward the crashed and burning wreckage of Neon's mom's car before it then blow up and exploded, got caught in blast of the explosion, and died*

Yang: OH, seriously?! *then point accusingly at them* WHO KILLED TEAM RWBY?!

*the zoomed up scene of a licking mouth before a beer bottle was put into the mouth and took a quick drank from it with a loud slurring sound... before it was reveal to be Mercury of what he originally look like back in RWBY Volume 1 with a nice purple hat, a lit ciger in his mouth, a pair of sunglasses, and a golden medal around his neck*

Vol1!Mercury: It was ME! *a whole lotta beer bottles in a large wooden crate and whole lotta more of them littering across on all the roofs of the buildings behind him in the background*

*Everyone turned and gasps in shock*

*Severel utterly massive beer bottles with one of them dumping their content right into a different wooden crate while it was mostly on its sides, Chell from the Portal series sitting in front of a door from said series with a beer bottle on top of it, a robotic arm holding a beer bottle in its hand and a yellow four-legged mecha robot with two arms from the original Half-Life game suddenly appeared in the background*

Vol1!Mercury: YES *a beer bottle then suddely slide up on his body and into his mouth as he then swallowed it with a gulp* I did it like this: *pulled out and cock his revolver* BOOM! *shoots it and killed Sun in one shot all with a train of tanks were rolling and passing by down the tracks in the background* WOOP DEE DOO! *dance with the yellow four-legged mecha robot then pushing one of giant beer bottle away, the robotic arm taking and lifting Chell up by her head, and the door from Portal now open to reveal to have a tons of cubes from that series in the background*

*Everyone stared in speechless shock as Yatsuhashi hold Sun's head in his hand while both Cardin's left hand shaking in shock*

*Vol1!Mercury took another massive swing from his beer bottle with an burp and slurping sounds before he then told them*

Vol1!Mercury: That's a joke, lad.

*Everyone (AKA Team RWBY, Team CVFY, and Cardin) begun laughing*

*Vol1!Mercury then took another massive drink from his beer bottle before he let out a loud blench*

*Cardin and Team CVFY were now looking at Vol1!Mercury with the area suddenly now forested by several trees and brushes with the multiple gravestones in front of the dead bodies for Sun on right and Team RWBY on the left along that have several numbers of items associating with them like either their weapons or foods*

Vol1!Mercury: It was... yo- *pointed at Team CVFY and was about to say before he burped and forgot of what he was about to say* HIM! *pointed at Cardin*

*Cardin and Team CVFY gasp in shock*

Cardin: How did you know?

Vol1!Mercury: I didn't. *a few structure made of giant beer bottles behind him in the background before letting out a loud blenching burp* That was a joke too. *He then rapidly his beer out of the battle*

Cardin: *He smiled evilly and started to chuckle evilly as Vol1!Mercury then died and drop dead to the ground from alcohol poisoning with also saying "i'm ded", causing Team RWBY to sit up, before it goes into/he finally let out his evil laughter and immediately confessed* That's right! *Team CVFY staring at him blankly with a blank expressions and Team RWBY were now sitting upright in front of their own gravestone and looking around in confusion with several numbers of various items associating with him sill there, surrounded by several kinds of flowers around their said gravestone, and a couple of random guys grieving for them while Sun's corpse became a skeleton in the background before he pointed to himself* It was me!

Coco: You MONSTER! *Cardin having a smug grin with the area behind him suddenly became what look like is trying to be a swamp but is failing that include a girl sitting inside of a tire swing hold by a rope attach to a tree, a muscle dude sitting on a dock, and an airboat docked at said dock with a crocodile slithering across the ground like it was swimming in the water in the while Sun's dead body was still a skeleton and Vol1!Mercury's dead body had been replaced by a beer bottle with his hat on it*

Ruby: BUT WHYYYYY? *Ren was painting Nora in a Jojo pose with barbed wires around them in the background*

Cardin: Coz you're FAT, girls! *A random alligator currently biting down on a dude's head in the background* And another thing, you're ugly.-

*Team RWBY (mostly Ruby) and Cardin starts arguing and throwing insults at each other as Team CVFY look back and forth in their confusion between them in their bickering at each other with a blank expression like it was a ping-pong ball match*

Ruby: CARDIN, STOP!-

Cardin: -You're a whole alot ugly.-

Ruby: -CARDIN YOU ARE SO MEAN!-"

Cardin: -You're dumb as a box. And I've seen better-

Ruby: -It's not funny!-

*Team CVFY then just look blankly at us audience and shrug their shoulders, since it was pretty much tradition at that point*

Team RWBY: *shouted to the sky as their head then suddenly blew right up to enormous size* CARDIN!

Cardin: AH! DAMNIT! *flip at Team RWBY* Team RWBY FUCK OFF! *the area then now look like a bar when he put his down arms on a bar table like it was an actual bar and clutch his own head in his hands with Qrow and Clover sitting at another bar table in background* You are dead.

Ruby: NO! U! *use a uno reverse/russian reversal to pull out their weapon and shoot him, immediately killing Cardin in one shot with his gun* POW haha! You are DEAD, Not big surprise.

Coco: *exasperated once the whole incident is resolve by its idoicy* Well that was idiotic. *Team CVFY walked away in disbelief* Off to hang ourselves! *Team CVFY decide to hang themselves while the noose of the rope is around their necks and the chair in front of them... before Coco decide to go fashionable and spectacularly out with style by doing an awesome backflip off of the wooden chair* Watch and learn- *then died as their corpse then knock the chairs over*

Ruby: We are alive! *cheerful with a happy smile* It's nice. *Team RWBY surrounded by the corpses and dead bodies around them* ... Yes, this is stupid.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Yes, I did Heavy Is Dead with RWBY characters. Why? Because I found the video to be funny when I first watched it. Antoine Delak, you are mad genius! Also, the video is making me itch to make another story based on it but this in a scripted format which i might add as a second chapter on AO3 since it is based on the same video anyway.


End file.
